1.5 weeks till FILL!

I can't WAIT to get my FILL!! Goodness I need to get back on track. I called my "doctor" (she's really an RN who does my fills, but I like to just call her doctor 'cause it's easier)... and I talked to her about getting how I have to get a fill with another nurse. I wanted to make sure that I didn't get into a situation where the nurse was only going to give me .5 cc's or something equally ridiculous (remember, I got 5 cc's taken out.. I don't think .5 is going to cut it). My fill nurse is always super nice! but I feel like she doesn't really listen to me talk or to my concerns. She was quick to say, "okay, I'll talk to Dana and make sure she gives you what you want". It's funny to listen to you guys talk about your experiences with your fills. I've never once been asked if I'm working out, what I'm eating, or anything like it. I've never been asked if I'm having trouble eating certain things or if I'm getting in my protein. Nothing. My fill appointments usually take 10 minutes once she gets in the room. It basically consists of me saying.. I think I need this much put in.. or this much taken out. It's really hard for me to decide on how much to get put in. I leave the next day so I don't have enough time to realize it's too much or not enough. I don't want it to be a wasted trip but I don't want to be too tight either. Ahhh.. band life. haha.

Gosh I swear I had more to say. I feel like I haven't slept in 72 hours. It must be the Olympics taking their toll. Can't wait for this week to be done. Then I have a week break from school. :D

Gaining & Losing (Weight & my mind, respectively)

Hey guyssss.

So I've been MIA. It's hard to blog when I'm struggling. I feel like I'm gaining 5 pounds a day. I'm pretty sure that I actually am. So.. I made an appointment for a fill in two weeks. It's worth the 10 hour drive, trust me. The only problem is that my usual fill-nurse (for those of you who meet with your surgeon on a regular basis.. HA.. I haven't seen my surgeon since the day of my surgery. and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even work there anymore) is going to be on vacation at that time and I can't rescehdule because it's spring break at school. Soooo.. I'm going to have a different fill-nurse. I hope she is as good at listening to what I want. It would be a shame to go all that way for her to say.. "oh, I only give my patients .5cc's at a time". I can't wait to get filled!

Other than that, I've been trying to be really good about food. I actually don't think I'm doing too bad at all but it's very discouraging when the scale keeps going up even though I'm counting calories, eating the right portions and eating healthy food. I expected it at first.. but now it's just ridiculous.

I haven't even been able to read other people's blogs lately :( That makes me sad-faced.

OKAY! Enough of this whining business! :D I'm still down a freakin' TON of weight. What are a few setbacks? Nothin! And.. most importantly.. IT'S FRIDAY!! :D

need. spring.

First off, thanks for the nice comments on my first ever vlog! Next time it will be longer, I promise. Mary (my Mary, not blogger Mary) made fun of me for looking EVERYWHERE but at the camera. Yeah I can't help it. Not very good at eye contact :P ... specially when the 'eye contact' is a little hole on the back of my phone.

As I'm going about my normal life there are always things that pop up and I think to myself, 'oh! I should blog about that'. Then when I sit down to blog... nothing. I can't remember a single thing.

I didn't work out as much last week as I normally do (i say "normally" even though today is the start of week 4, haha). I wasn't feeling very well and didn't really have the motivation to do it. I skipped Tuesday and Friday. and I didn't do anything on the weekend (unless you count jumping around with little kids on indoor inflatable bouncy things). I did get up and work out this morning though! Start to a new week and I'm going to try to stay on track.

I've been feeling kind of out of sorts lately. I feel - ugly, fat and tired. This will pass, I know. Are there days when you know you don't really weigh any more than normal and you just feel like you've gained 50 pounds? This happens to me. Suddenly I become very aware of my stomach when I sit, my face in the mirror, how my pants fit and other things. It really brings a person down, lol. I know it doesn't make much sense. Two years ago I would have killed to be only 10-20 pounds overweight.. I know some of my mood has to do with seasonal affective disorder.. I need spring and I need it soon!

Anyways! Hmm.. something more upbeat? Mondays are just too long for upbeat, haha. Can't wait for tomorrow evening. I love Biggest Loser night! Speaking of Biggest Loser... red team? ugh. They're annoying. I'm not even sure how they got on the show in the first place. I understand that Biggest Loser is consistently getting heavier and heavier contestants and it's only fair to throw in some people who need the help but aren't, say, 500+ lbs... I get that. But there were probably better choices out of their millions of applicants.. you think? Is anyone else reminded of the Helen's daughter (team pink two seasons ago) when looking at this newest pink daughter? Crazy. I love Koli and Sam. They seem like hard workers and they're not playing the game. Gotta respect that. Anyways..

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week. I wish I was home relaxing with my gf instead of at work! lol.

My cool girlfriend has two different colored eyes. How awesome is that? :D