Keep on keepin' on

I've been not feeling my best for the past couple of weeks but I'm finally starting to feel more like myself. My girlfriend and I have started to jump back on the wagon (I had previously dove head first off the wagon and made a lame attempt to catch up.. which didn't work). We're focusing on making our meals at home more often and planning what we're going to make before dinner time comes around and we're saying.. "oh... well, can't thaw that out in time. where should we go?" We also got a lot of fresh veggies and have been working on me taking them to work with me daily.. It feels good to eat properly! Imagine that..

Halloween potluck at work today! I hope I can eat well! And by "well", I just mean I hope I don't puke up everything :D

The other day I hopped on the scale in the morning and it read 159.5... !!! I kid you not. I've never seen that number on a scale before. I know that shortly after I turned 13, I went to the doctor and they put my weight down as 173. So whoooo knows the last time I weighed 159.5. I was always discouraged when I was at my highest weight because losing 5, 10, even 15 pounds... didn't seem to make a difference at all in my appearance (I know now that any weight lost is great!) ... but now I'm reallllly noticing changes in my clothes and body losing 1-2 lbs. Clothes that fit at the beginning of the week don't quite fit that well at the end of the week. It's strange. When I first started out, I lost a ton of weight but felt like I wasn't losing anything because I was wearing the same clothes that seemed to fit the same. Now I'm not losing big numbers like before but I can see changes... I'm not sure which is more encouraging, but it makes me feel good. :)

With the holidays coming up, we all have to stay on track somehow! I did it last year.. I know I can do it again this year.

100 lbs..

So, peeps... I finally hit my 100 lb lost mark this past Wednesday. Which is pretty cool because Sunday (the 11th) was my 1.5 year mark. My weight's been fluctuating a lot lately so I bet I'm not at 100 lb lost anymore.. but I don't care. I'll take it! (Shout out to Amy -- who also has lost 100 lbs recently!! Amazing :D)

At the end of September, I went to Chicago and had a blast. The weather was a little crappy but oh well. Our hotel was right where we needed it to be.. right off Michigan Ave. We walked to the House of Blues. We even walked to the Art Institute. Brandi Carlile was absoluteeelllllyyyy amazing. seriously. If you haven't heard her, please check her out. She just released a new album last week... and it's her best so far. Mary got a guitar pick that she tossed out after a song!! (I almost got one.. just missssed. bummer) That was exciting. We also went to a Tigers/White Sox game.. Tigers won! yesss. But I don't want to talk about the Tigers because they totally blew their chance and let the Twins win the division and that's not cool (even though I'm originally from Minnesota).

That Sunday night when we got back, we decided at like 11 at night that we were going to take the next day off of work because Brandi was doing a live set in the Ann Arbor, MI Borders. It was sooooo worth it! We were sooo close to her and then met her for a signing after the show. Ahhh, I'm in love <3 haha. When I told her we saw her in Chicago and I was sooo close to getting a pick, she literally stopped what she was doing and began to search her pockets saying "hey i might have one on me.." and then.. "shit, i don't. sorry!!" But it was so sweet of her to look!! I wish she had one though, that would have been the best! haha. So, all in all... good times were had. I've been super exhausted lately..

Question to throw at you all.. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with not being well hydrated (I'm working on it I swear!), but the bags under my eyes are so much more defined than they normally are. I'm pretty sure I get enough sleep.. at least 7 hrs a night usually. So... why is this happening?? lol. Any tips? Maybe it's always been like that and I'm just noticing it now but I dunno. Not cool! *drinks water*

I'll leave you with some pics. Keep doing what you do.. and do it well :D



Ahaha. I was pretty excited...

Confession

I am not a runner. But I WANT to be. I want to run and run and run. Sometimes I have dreams where I'm running and I don't get out of breath or feel like my lungs are going to explode, and it's amazing. I think it's my life goal to run a marathon. Maybe first I should accomplish running around the block? Whatever. I'm thinking I should start that Couch to 5k program again. I wish I was disciplined.

In other news, I absolutely LOVE rollerblading. I used to love it as a kid and when I moved to Michigan (MUCH more blading friendly), I tried it again. That was last summer and I sucked at it. And after like a block, it hurt my mid-lower back a ton and it hurt my feet to the point of being painfully numb. Well, I tried it again a this past weekend.. no pain and it was amazing. Love love love it! I got my bearings for about 20 min and then I went back and got my dog. What a great work out for us both. And she was so good! So that makes me pretty happy. It's hard to find something active that I will continue to do. I love almost everything active.. but I never want to do it enough to actually.. come home after a long day and do it. Too bad it's now almost October and I only have about a month to rollerblade.

It's that time of month for me, folks.. so I still haven't reached my 100 lb lost goal. But that's okay.. it's coming. I've figured out a pattern with my weight loss. So.. I'll weigh a certain amount for a couple weeks without it changing but +/- 1 lb. Then all of a sudden, within a week I'll lost 5-7 lbs. Then the next week I'll gain 1-2 lbs. The week after that I get my period (I don't weigh myself the whole week of that). Then it starts over. Really weird.

I've only just now noticed this because this is probably the first time in my life where I am getting my period on a consistant basis. I usually only get my period about 3 times a year... and now I'm finally getting it every month like I should. I'm not sure whether to happy about that or... ? haha.

Well, that's all that's new with me I guess. Looking forward to this weekend ... spending it in Chicago! I hope I can eat SOMETHING!

twisting

So I could never sleep at night
I've never mastered eating right
Distracted by the skin I wear

And I'm alive in here somewhere
Cause I can feel me twisting

Long absence... again. I started grad school this week. I wasn't excited or nervous. I actually dreaded it. I'm the girl that loved high school and hated college. I can't wrap my head around the costs of going to school; it's ridiculous. Luckily, I have a fellowship that is paying me a monthly stipend and also paying 2/3 of my tuition. I'm still working at my other job as well. I'm going to make more money my first year of grad school than I ever have in my life.. but I'm still stressed. and busy. Grrr!

I love reading all of your blogs and I apologize once again for not commenting like I should.. Mostly I read them when I'm supposed to be doing something else at work. (shh!).

I'm a pound away for losing 100 lbs. I started this journey at 263.. crazy. People, my mom especially, ask me how I "feel" all the time. "Do you feel different?" .. "you must feel so much better!" .. and really, I don't feel any different. It's such a gradual process.. sometimes I don't even notice. I'm definitely not as self-conscious as I used to be.. and god knows I can find clothes more easily. But I can't say things like.. oh, yeah.. i don't have achy joints anymore.. or something like that. I never had that to begin with. I will say though that I cannot imagine putting on a body suit that weighs 100 lbs and wearing it around all day, every day. I had no idea at the time how much work it was just to walk around with that extra weight. I never thought I'd be within 20 pounds of goal.

Something happened to me last week that kind of made me realize how far I have come. If you recall, I was running out of wearable clothes and it was becoming an issue. A coworker of mine, who I have always viewed as average/thin said that she had a couple pants that she was going to part with. She gave them to me.. and they FIT. I think that kind of forced my brain to realize that, hey, I'm the same size as this girl who I view as completely average. Crazy.

I hope you all are doing absolutely wonderful. Making right choices, drinking water.. and, most importantly, having fun. :D

clothes. argh.

I've been reading today a little about the dilemma's of clothing. I remember when my dilemma used to be that I couldn't fit into any clothes and I refused to go shopping for more. I remember when I finally did go shopping, being discourage after trying on one pair because they didn't fit and I refused to try on anything bigger than a 20.

So in remembering that I am reminded about how I should so not be frustrated with my current situation.. and I'm not. I'm just observing. When I started my job last year, I bought enough 'casual business' clothes to hold me over. Most were a little tight when I got them. At the time, I bought a size 14 pair of pants that were too tight but I could still wear them. I'm wearing those pants today. They're kind of loose but the only work pants that actually fit me now. I'm thinking I'm comfortably a size 12 right now (I have a couple size 12 jeans.. haven't tried on pants in awhile). All of my other pants (mind you, I only have about 3-4 other work pants) are way too large. I cannot wear the pants I'm wearing today 4 days a week (casual Fridays, holla!). I don't mind shopping like I used to.. I even enjoy it a little now. But I can't afford a new change of wardrobe every season. grrrr. But I need new pants, lol.

It's strange to me.. when I first started it took me losing about 50 pounds to change a size in pants. Now I think every 5-10 pounds is a new size. I guess I should be glad for it! :D Pretty sure I can't go much longer without a couple new pants though lol.

blogger issue.

okay smart blogger peeps.. quick question.

when I'm reading a blog and I look at the people that "follow" that blog and I want to check them out, some have their own blog listed and some do not. I always assumed this was a personal choice... so I was thinking, well, I WANT people to be able to check out my blog if they so choose and I'm following someone they also follow. So I click on my own image in a blog that I follow and it doesn't link anyone to my blog. I tried to fix this... it didn't work, lol. I went into the google thing and added my own blog as a "link" but it won't show up. Maybe this takes some time? Not sure.

Also, sometimes people start following me and I can't check out their blog in return because all I can see is that they're following me and what other blogs they have recently started following. Is this a user issue (ie.. i'm too stupid to figure it out) or what? Anyone with any knowledge, that would be awesome.

Thank you. ha.

Picture Post!

I had to scrounge for some pictures but I did try to get enough to warrant a picture post!

This is the before picture I just found the other day. It was taken July 14th, 2007.

At a BBQ with some friends, this was taken the beginning of September 2007. I hated that there was a camera floating around, lol.

My friend Erin and I. This picture was taken end of Feb 2008... (banded April 11, 2008)

My sister, Logan, and I at her state gymnastics championship. Beginning of April 2008 (liquids only)

My friend Ashley and Mary graduated college.. this was May 17th, 2008. (a litte over a month out)

I am seriously lacking in between pictures from the last one to this one but I'm at work and I think I have some at home. Trip home to Minnesota in Feb 2009 (dog = Morgan)

My sister Logan and I.. Feb 13, 2009.

Logan graduating Marine boot camp at Parris Island in South Carolina... May 22, 2009. 185 lbs.

Another trip to Minnesota, for Logan's high school grad party.. holding my Canadian cousin Harrison! June 1, 2009. 185 lbs.

My girlfriend Mary and I right before Sally and Beau's wedding... July 11th, 2009. 175 lbs.

Well there I am! :D