Picture Post!

I had to scrounge for some pictures but I did try to get enough to warrant a picture post!

This is the before picture I just found the other day. It was taken July 14th, 2007.

At a BBQ with some friends, this was taken the beginning of September 2007. I hated that there was a camera floating around, lol.

My friend Erin and I. This picture was taken end of Feb 2008... (banded April 11, 2008)

My sister, Logan, and I at her state gymnastics championship. Beginning of April 2008 (liquids only)

My friend Ashley and Mary graduated college.. this was May 17th, 2008. (a litte over a month out)

I am seriously lacking in between pictures from the last one to this one but I'm at work and I think I have some at home. Trip home to Minnesota in Feb 2009 (dog = Morgan)

My sister Logan and I.. Feb 13, 2009.

Logan graduating Marine boot camp at Parris Island in South Carolina... May 22, 2009. 185 lbs.

Another trip to Minnesota, for Logan's high school grad party.. holding my Canadian cousin Harrison! June 1, 2009. 185 lbs.

My girlfriend Mary and I right before Sally and Beau's wedding... July 11th, 2009. 175 lbs.

Well there I am! :D

10 year low [soon-to-be]

Don't you hate it when you get on the scale to an all-time low number and you can't record it because it isn't your official weigh in day?? Haha. My luck, I'll be back to where I started by weigh-in day.

My mom keeps a bunch of my medical records from when I was a kid in this filing cabinet at home. I asked her to look through it for me because I have no idea what my weight has been for the majority of my life. I was always afraid of the scale. I would tell the doctor not to tell me what it was. So. My mom reports back. On February of 1999 (two months after I turned 13) I went to the doctor and weighed in at 166 lbs. Today, I weighed 167.5 (**not official**). I am 23 years old. I have not weighed 166 lbs since I was 13. Ten years, for those of you who don't want to do that math. and I'm almost there.

I don't want this blog to only be about my weight loss. I want it to be about my life in general too. I'm just not very good at thinking of things to say, lol. I'll ponder that for awhile.

PS - I was looking through some weight-loss blogs today (I look at people you follow, see who they follow and so on and so forth. TONS of blogs out there!) ... and I read about a girl who has lost a lot of weight (about 100 lbs) in two years by doing weight watchers and working out etc; no surgery. I think that's great, don't get me wrong. and I was excited to read her blog. Then I read the 'beginning' about how she went to a weightloss surgery seminar and knew it wasn't for her because there's no way she was going to chew up her food until it was liquid just to be able to eat (I commend that, nothing wrong with realizing it's not the option for you) .. she proceeds to state how she started doing it on her own and felt great; that she didn't need a quick-fix surgery, among other things. This is where I was put off. Anyone who says that surgery is a quick fix obviously hasn't had one. I think it's totally great that she lost the weight... and I would have thought that no matter how she lost it. I feel like she wouldn't feel the same about me.

I'm back!

So, really, I wasn't lying when I said I'm bad at this whole blogging thing. Seriously.

Today, for the second day in a row, I weighed 169. Holy crap. I'm in the 160s? crazzzzzyyy!!

I'm making wrong choices though. All over the place. I had a whole bag of peanut m&ms today. Now, I'm all for treating myself every once in awhile and I think everyone should ... being too strict just creates majorly bad binges ... but I haven't even been TRYING to be healthy. And I'm going to really have to crack down to lose these last 30 lbs... because each pound now is going to be as hard as 5 lbs was when I was at my highest. I need to start making right choices. This is a lifestyle change. I've come a long way but I still go through periods of time where I just eat crap and crave crap. And I'm not good at saying no... especially to myself.

Also -- someone on facebook today tagged me in a pic that was taken two years ago. I wasn't at my highest yet but I was pretty close. I will post it. I would also like to say sorry to everyone's blogs I've been selfishly reading and enjoying and not commenting, ha. I'm going to start being a better blog friend. and by that i mean.. I'm going to start trying to actually make blog friends. lol.






































The 'before' one was taken July 14, 2007. The 'after' one was taken on July 11th, 2009. I'll try to get a full body pic sometime.

bad blogger.

I suck at blogging just about as much as I suck at get my daily protein and water.

About two weeks ago, I finally hit my mini-half-goal-thing. I'm not very good at having realistic and reasonable goals. I was always the one that could never stick with anything because I wanted immediate results. So, anyway. I set my goals based on the stupid, stupid BMI chart. (I didn't have a lot of goals, apparently). Don't get me wrong, I think it's great to have goals! I wish I had had them. I also wish I would have taken a before picture of myself, but that's another story. My first goal was to lose 50 lbs. That's a pretty big goal.. too big probably. My next goal was to hit 206.5... because that meant I was no longer morbidly obese. Just obese. Then off course, the iconic Onederland! 177 was my most recent goal met. A couple of weeks ago, I stepped on the scale to 177. It was beautiful. I spent about 3 months fluctuating between 183-187. The significance of 177.. is that, medically, I am no longer obese at all. I am overweight. I have to be at about 147 to be on the high end of my normal weight. So that's my next goal :) Like I said, ideally I would like to be between 130-140 if my body lets me be. Today I stepped on the scale at 175.

Right now, I need to work on a couple of things. I need to start exercising. It's summer now.. the excuse that it's too cold to go outside is no longer valid! I have a really cool trikke that I should be riding every day. I need to do something! I also need to up my calories for the day. I am pretty positive that my body is in starvation mode. If I could just get it out of this mode.. I could lose more weight. Funny how that works.. I need to eat more to lose weight.

Other than thatttt... I bought a dress yesterday! The first dress I've ever bought. I have a wedding this saturday. I hope to post pics or something. I actually really like it and I feel kind of pretty. :)

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day. Drink water!

need.. protein..

I'm been exhausted lately. I really think it must be from the lack of nutrients going into my body. So I've decided to change that. Or attempt to, anyway. I definitely need more protein. I hardly get any unless I try.

So far today:

1 Viactiv calcium chew.
1 chewable Centrum multivitamin.

Carnation instant breakfast chocolate shake with skim milk (5 grams of protein in Carnation) with half a scoop of chocolate whey protein added (approx 10 grams of protein).
and I am currently sipping on some water (which I have been wayyyy too lax on lately).

That's pretty good for 10 am, right? :)

I also brought some cottage cheese for lunch.. a little over a serving so about 15 grams of protein. Nice. I know I need to try to get some hard protein in as well.. but hard protein is, well, hard for me to eat right now lol. I'll work on it.

Hope everyone is having a lovely hump day!

puke.

Food troubles are still following me. I've been puking way more than the healthy amount. But I'm trying to be really careful. On Saturday I had some soup with with only minor discomfort for a bite or two. For dinner I tried a tiny piece of pork chop and some asparagus.. except I did a no-no and tried to eat the asparagus first (protein first, always!) ... but I just love asparagus so much, hah. I didn't eat any of the pork chop. And I puked up the asparagus (one of my least favorite things to puke up, btw). Yesterday I had two bites of yogurt, a salad for lunch (took me about 45 min to eat) and half of piece of pizza for dinner. No puking! Yay! No puking today either so far either.. I haven't even been tight today. It IS that time of month (starting last night)... so maybe my band will loosen up a little now. *fingers crossed*

For those who asked.. I had my surgery in Minnesota.. where I grew up and was living at the time. I have since moved to Michigan. There really is only one band filling center where I live here.. and they're not very keen to take new patients if they haven't had the band for at least a year.. and when I moved to Michigan, I had only had the band for a little over a month. (It was a year in mid-April). Plus, I have since had to change insurance companies.. and this new insurance doesn't cover 'pre-existing conditions', lol. So I have to pay out of pocket for my fills. Fills here are over $300. Fills at my clinic in MN are $55. So I schedule my visits around visits home to my family. It's been working okay so far. :)

A little scale talk -- I neverrrr weighed myself when I before the band. Ever. So... really, I have no idea what I weighed throughout high school or before. I do know that I now fit into shorts I wore when I was 16. I know I weigh less now than I did throughout all of college. And I'm pretty sure I'm close to weighing less than I did when I started high school. I guess the only way to tell would be to look at medical records or something.. I'm not too concerned. It's kind of neat though...

fill + food = ouch.

I'm back from a two week hiatus (to South Carolina and Minnesota). In MN, I went for a visit to the doctor. I swear, I'm soooo sensitive to fills it's ridiculous. In Feb I got an unfill because I could barely eat. It's hard for me because I live 10 hrs away from my doctor.. So, she took out 1 cc in Feb and I could eat pretty okay for the first time in forever. (Bring on the bread! ... yeah, it wasn't good). Somewhere in that time period (from Feb - May) I started getting tight again when I ate. I'm not sure why.. I didn't get another fill. I didn't do anything differently. Maybe it was stress, who knows. I started to get tight but I did not start getting FULL. I wanted to eat all the time. So.. I went home for a visit last week and stopped at the doctors. She decided to put in half of what she took out.. thinking that was a nice compromise. Holy tightness. I can't eat ANYTHING. Forget about eating in the morning.. I can barely keep a shake down. It gets a little better in the afternoon. I'm not sure what to do about this.

On the plus side, I'm seeing the scale move a bit. I'm back down to where I was in Feb (I had a total gain of 5 lbs from Feb- May, which isn't all that bad... considering). It's going to be a struggle to get in the proper nutrients if I keep having troubles like this. I've never really had an easy time eating with the band at any stage.. it's always been really, really hard. But I wouldn't change it. It's done amazing thing.

End goal: lose 40 more lbs.
Ideal goal: lose 50.

No timeline.