BYOC

BYOC


BYOC is 5 little questions – some funny, some serious – that we answer to get to know each other better and it’s a free blog topic for Fridays when our blog brains are fried before the weekend! Feel free to join us! Post the questions and answers in your own blog!

1. Seeing that it’s a patriotic holiday of sorts I thought of this one: Where were you on September 11th?

I was in school.  I was in 10th grade and my first class of the day (Spanish) was in the basement so we were out of the loop.  But when I went to biology, the teacher had it playing on the television.  I walked in just in time to see a building crash down.  I thought it was a joke.  I couldn't believe that it was actually happening.  It was the first week of school; teachers were crying.  It was all overwhelming. 
2. What is your idea of fun? If given the chance to skip work/life for an entire day, what would you do? (assume you’d be by yourself)

Aw, by myself?  There's lots of things I'd like to do.  But I think I would spend a lot of time by and in the water.  It would be a perfect day (of course) and I'd have a really good book to read.
3. Suggestion from a follower. Some blog questions.

How many blogs do you follow? 78

Do you read them all or just your faves? Not even close.  I go through spurts where I can read a lot and I try to comment..  but most of the time I don't have time.  I would like to read more though.  I always read Amy W's, Grace's and Catherine's. 

Do you comment a little, a lot, on all? I do not comment as much as I would like.  Most of the time, I barely have enough time to read.  But I realize that I'm a bad blog friend.. and I need to work on it, lol.

Have you ever unfollowed someone because of something they said or you didn’t like their blog? I have not unfollowed anyone, to my recollection.  But I would in a heartbeat if they were offensive to me.  But not just because of a different view or anything.  All the people I've met in blogland have been so nice though.

Do you routinely unfollow and why? I know I'm following a lot of people who haven't update in forever.  But I haven't updated in forever either, lol.  So unless it's been about a year, I just keep em there..  cause why not?

4. Repeat question. Pick one day and one healthy thing you’ll do for just that day next week.

I'm actively trying to be good about my lunches.  Packing them beforehand.. making sure I have them all set.. so I have no excuse to go out.

5. Repeat "Make someone a superstar" question. Whose blog or blog comment stuck with you this week and why?

Grace's blog has continued to inspire me.. because she's so honest and open.  and dealing with a lot of crap.. but trying to be upbeat.  I think she's a really strong person.  And of course, I happily welcomed Amy W. to the family last week.  Love it! :)

drowning in blogs & my POP dilemma

I can't keep up with the 8 million blogs I'm following.  How do you guys do it?!  You miss a couple days and BAM, a thousand blogs unread.  GAH!  haha.  I'm going to keep trying though :P

Nothing is new with me.  Weight hasn't changed.  Water intake hasnt changed (tsk, tsk).

There is something I wanna throw out there for everyone.  Okay.  So I know we're not "supposed" to drink carbonated stuff.. but forget that for a second.  I can literally (literally!) only keep food down if I've had a carbonated beverage before I eat.  WHY IS THIS?!  Is this just a mind game that I'm playing with myself?  I'm being serious.  If I do not drink a carbonated beverage before I eat, I will have the most terrible time and PB at least 3 times before the meal is done.  But if I drink some pop about 10-15 minutes before I start eating and continue to drink it while I eat, things stay down.  Sometimes I still have some close calls at the beginning of a meal.. but it's like a painful tightness that I know will pass if I just hold on a second.  And then it passes and I'm completely fine for the rest of the meal.  I do NOT want to drink pop before every meal.  and I don't.  But it's gotten to the point that if I know I'm going somewhere in public and I need to eat, I'll drink some pop beforehand so I know I can eat.  It makes no sense.  I've tried it with water thinking that maybe the liquid is helping to lubricate whatever it is in there that needs lubrication..  but nope.  Water doesn't work.  Juice doesn't work.  What the heck?

Work fun...

So last week at work, my coworker decided to decorate the office in a Hawaiian them (frommm the dollar store).  I got to work with a grass skirt and a shell bra on my desk.  NO ONE ELSE had this.  But I wore it anyway, ahah.   So this pic is my cube.  Is that pop in my hands, you ask?  Why of course not..  :p

And we even got some fruit-kabobs :D

This is my friend / coworker Stephanie and I :D

In this next pic, there's a group of us.. but I only asked Steph her permission to show it.. and it was just too funny to pass up!  I mean, c'mon, look at her face!

                       

Lastly, I'll leave you with this little gem.  So I could not stop touching my stupid shell bra!  someone captured it. 

5k, BOOBS 'mates, etc

I just started following approximately 8.2 million people. I'm a little overwhelmed! Tomorrow I work at the grad school for about 5 hours and I plan on seriously getting to know every person I followed. Unless they want me to actually work or something (ha!). It's a hard task though.. I like to go back to the beginning and read every post. Eek! I might have to do an abbreviated version. But! If you've noticed that I've started following you.. just know that I'm creepily lurking on your blog ;)

This Saturday I'm going to do my first 5k. It's just a walk (I am incapable of running, for reals) and I'm going with two of my coworkers. I'm looking forward to it but it's sooooo early. I can't wait for the shirt! :D

I'm going to Chicago ... and I need roommates! I think I'm pretty cool with Stephanie just pairing me with whoever else doesn't have anyone. I'm pretty laid back so whatever.. But I am a poor graduate student so I would like 3 roommates if possible. Oh well - it will all shake out.

Scale hasn't moved in a long time... but I'm not surprised. I haven't been the model bandster lately. I'm okay with it..

peace out homies.

B.O.O.B.S

I think we all know that I'm a pretty horrible blogger, ahah. I mean, don't deny it. I disappear for months at a time .. I hardly comment, and I basically just suck at it. To my credit, I've warned you from the beginning. But I definitely READ and take in what everyone is saying. I follow Amy's postings religiously.. I know what's going on in the blog universe for the most part. So it comes as really no surprise that when I heard about the BOOBS convention in Chicago that I was like "seriously?! That's soooo cooooool!" .. because, to me, I know you all. Here's the thing. You don't all know me. I don't talk to any of you outside reading your blogs.. so even though I feel like I know you and I feel like we're friends.. we're kinda not. I mean, we definitely could be.. but we're not. And because *I* don't blog as often or as well as other people, you definitely probably don't feel like you know me. So I argued with myself over whether or not I could even go to something like this - even after it was made clear that everyone was invited, lol. So then I started thinking.. well, I probably won't go. Then I thought.. wait. I need to see what Drazil looks like. Then I thought... but ahhh, no one knows me. But you know what -- at the end of the day, I'm pretty sick of the fact that I have let my weight hold me back from TONS of social situations in the past. So, tentatively, I'm in. Chicago is only a 2.5 hour drive from where I live in Michigan. and hey, I have 5 months to make friends before I get there ;)

Fat Boy [Jewel]

Fat boy goes to the pool
Sees his reflection, doesn't know what to do
He feels little inside and filled with pride
Oh, fragile flame
No one sees the same

Fat boy goes about his day
Trying to think of funny things to say
Like, "This is just a game I play"
And "I like me this way"
Oh, fragile flame
When no one feels the same

Hush, sleep, don't think, just eat
Your daddy's little boy
Your mama's pride and joy
You know they love ya
But not because they hold ya

Fat boy says "Wouldn't it be nice
If I could melt myself like ice
Or outrun my skin and just be pure wind"
Oh, fragile flame
Sometimes I feel the same

FRIDAY! and Drazil's Surveyyyyy.

I'm soooo glad it's Friday! It's supposed to be 65 degrees today! Yesss! But it's suppose to snow on Sunday.. WTF weather?! I'm rocking the start of a cold. My throat has been sore and today my nose is a little stuffy. I don't even care. I just want to be out of work!

I'm going to do Drazil survey because Friday's are completely pointless at my job.. :D

1. If you could be a weather forecast, what would you be and why?

This is harder to answer than I thought. I guess I'd be a clear night in the summer. I love seeing the moon and the stars. Makes me feel like there's something much bigger than me out there. Also .. I love that there's only one moon. and anywhere you are in the country, if someone else is looking at the moon, you're looking at the same thing.

2. If you could be a crayon, what color would you be and why?

It's no secret that I love bright green. It brightens my day.. If I were a green crayon I would look in the mirror and it would make me happy. What a change of pace :p

3. What is/was your biggest physical goal you want to do when you hit your goal weight?

My biggest physical goal ever would be to run a marathon. But since I can't even run around the block.. that might take a little more work than I'm willing to do at the moment ;) I just think it would be a great accomplishment.

4. If you could be any animal, what would it be and why?

I would be a baby elephant or a dog. These are my favorite animals. Mostly, I'd probably be a dog because I feel like I relate better to dogs than I do to most people. I love dogs. If there is such a thing as a past life, I would bet money on the fact that I've been a dog before.

5. Just because I’m new to some followers and I’m curious – let’s do a put it out there in black and white stat question.

What was your highest weight? 263
What is your weight now? 162 (as of Monday)
What is your goal weight if you have one? 140 (ultimate goal weight would be 130 - 135 but I'm not sure if my body will let it happen)
What is your goal size if you have one? I don't have a goal size. I'm not concerned with size.
What diet/program/tool do you follow/have if any? Well the biggest tool I use is, obviously, the lapband. Other than that, I try not to worry about it.
How did you lose the weight current to today? a lot of hard work and some help from the lapband.

6. What’s your best advice for people in this weight loss journey?

I'm going to steal Drazil's sentiments here. Keep on keepin' on. It's so important. I never thought I could lose weight because I tried something, expected instant results and ultimately gave up. There are no instant results. This is a process. You won't be perfect every day.. in fact, you might have a whole month or more off track... but keep on keepin' on.

7. Have you ever shaved your whootananny?

ahahah.

1-6-2

I finally updated my ticker so it's actually accurate. It's hard to go from down 110 to down 98 or whatever it was. My ticker is now official as of my weight this morning.

I think I have troubles with protein shakes. Whenever I get a fill, I drink protein shakes and freak out because they're not going down as well as I think they should. But I always have troubles with protein shakes. Yesterday, I ate a whole plate of nachos. Yes, I felt a little tight at times and had one close call.. but it all went down. My protein shakes stay stuck foreeeevvveerrr. So.. who knows.

I'm going to try to catch up on my blog reading a little later even though I should be studying for a quiz. My computer crashed in the middle of February.. and I hate reading blogs on my phone. Needless to say, I'm way behind.

I need to figure out a way to continue to work out while not getting as many calories in my body. I haven't been to the gym in a week and a half. eek!

Scale says: 162.

Fill!

Hey everyone. So I really didn't want to blog today. Like some of you, I have a hard time blogging when things aren't going exceptionally well.

I went in for my fill on Friday. I had a new nurse practitioner (NP) who was GREAT! I might make all my appointments with her from now on. She listened to what I had to say and gave me suggestions. It was great to feel like I was being heard. She told me that since my last (un)fill, they had all went to a conference at some place in Kentucky or Connecticut or something like that.. some place that has very successful band patients. So they're doing fills a little differently. Basically, what she did was fill me ALL the way up and completely closed my band. That was such a weird feeling! Even before I had anything to drink, I could feel tightness in my chest. She had me drink water (knowing that since my band was closed, none of it would go down). When I could feel the water towards my throat, she had me stop drinking. She slowly took fluid out of my band until I could feel the water go down. When it started to go down, I could hear it gurgle, lol. She basically used that point as a base point and fiddled with it a little more with me drinking water. She put everything away and had me continue to drink water. I felt like the fluid was hanging up for a little while before it was going down. She put in 2.2 ccs... and I asked her if she could take a little out. She took out .2 .. and the water went down just fine. Since it was a Friday and I was leaving soon, she gave me her pager and cell number in case anything went wrong and I needed an unfill before I left (very sweet).

She told me that filling up the band all the way was especially aggravating to the band and that even though they're usually not very strict about fluids after a fill (especially for long-term patients), with this kind of fill, they definitely wanted me on fluids for two days. I was planning on it anyway. That night, I had some tomato soup and it was hanging up a lot. I didn't feel "stuck" or like I was going to puke, but I definitely had to wait awhile after each small sip. Since I was leaving the next day, I called the NP just to get her advice on what to do. She said that as long as I'm not really stuck or puking, that it might just be because the band is irritated. So I went with that. Well, I haven't had much to eat these past couple of days. Yesterday I had a really hard time with both my soup in the afternoon and my protein shake in the evening. And I'm not getting in enough calories so I'm getting these wicked headaches. I almost puked up my shake last night but this morning (when I usually have the hardest time eating), I drank a slimfast thing just fine. So... I don't know what to do. No one around here will unfill me... and I can't just go back 10 hours to Minnesota lol. I'm hoping that maybe it's still a little sowllen.. and it'll get better..

On a similar note: How is it that I have trouble with a milk protein shake but absolutely NO trouble with a triple-thick Shamrock shake from McDonalds? WTF band!

1.5 weeks till FILL!

I can't WAIT to get my FILL!! Goodness I need to get back on track. I called my "doctor" (she's really an RN who does my fills, but I like to just call her doctor 'cause it's easier)... and I talked to her about getting how I have to get a fill with another nurse. I wanted to make sure that I didn't get into a situation where the nurse was only going to give me .5 cc's or something equally ridiculous (remember, I got 5 cc's taken out.. I don't think .5 is going to cut it). My fill nurse is always super nice! but I feel like she doesn't really listen to me talk or to my concerns. She was quick to say, "okay, I'll talk to Dana and make sure she gives you what you want". It's funny to listen to you guys talk about your experiences with your fills. I've never once been asked if I'm working out, what I'm eating, or anything like it. I've never been asked if I'm having trouble eating certain things or if I'm getting in my protein. Nothing. My fill appointments usually take 10 minutes once she gets in the room. It basically consists of me saying.. I think I need this much put in.. or this much taken out. It's really hard for me to decide on how much to get put in. I leave the next day so I don't have enough time to realize it's too much or not enough. I don't want it to be a wasted trip but I don't want to be too tight either. Ahhh.. band life. haha.

Gosh I swear I had more to say. I feel like I haven't slept in 72 hours. It must be the Olympics taking their toll. Can't wait for this week to be done. Then I have a week break from school. :D

Gaining & Losing (Weight & my mind, respectively)

Hey guyssss.

So I've been MIA. It's hard to blog when I'm struggling. I feel like I'm gaining 5 pounds a day. I'm pretty sure that I actually am. So.. I made an appointment for a fill in two weeks. It's worth the 10 hour drive, trust me. The only problem is that my usual fill-nurse (for those of you who meet with your surgeon on a regular basis.. HA.. I haven't seen my surgeon since the day of my surgery. and I'm pretty sure he doesn't even work there anymore) is going to be on vacation at that time and I can't rescehdule because it's spring break at school. Soooo.. I'm going to have a different fill-nurse. I hope she is as good at listening to what I want. It would be a shame to go all that way for her to say.. "oh, I only give my patients .5cc's at a time". I can't wait to get filled!

Other than that, I've been trying to be really good about food. I actually don't think I'm doing too bad at all but it's very discouraging when the scale keeps going up even though I'm counting calories, eating the right portions and eating healthy food. I expected it at first.. but now it's just ridiculous.

I haven't even been able to read other people's blogs lately :( That makes me sad-faced.

OKAY! Enough of this whining business! :D I'm still down a freakin' TON of weight. What are a few setbacks? Nothin! And.. most importantly.. IT'S FRIDAY!! :D

need. spring.

First off, thanks for the nice comments on my first ever vlog! Next time it will be longer, I promise. Mary (my Mary, not blogger Mary) made fun of me for looking EVERYWHERE but at the camera. Yeah I can't help it. Not very good at eye contact :P ... specially when the 'eye contact' is a little hole on the back of my phone.

As I'm going about my normal life there are always things that pop up and I think to myself, 'oh! I should blog about that'. Then when I sit down to blog... nothing. I can't remember a single thing.

I didn't work out as much last week as I normally do (i say "normally" even though today is the start of week 4, haha). I wasn't feeling very well and didn't really have the motivation to do it. I skipped Tuesday and Friday. and I didn't do anything on the weekend (unless you count jumping around with little kids on indoor inflatable bouncy things). I did get up and work out this morning though! Start to a new week and I'm going to try to stay on track.

I've been feeling kind of out of sorts lately. I feel - ugly, fat and tired. This will pass, I know. Are there days when you know you don't really weigh any more than normal and you just feel like you've gained 50 pounds? This happens to me. Suddenly I become very aware of my stomach when I sit, my face in the mirror, how my pants fit and other things. It really brings a person down, lol. I know it doesn't make much sense. Two years ago I would have killed to be only 10-20 pounds overweight.. I know some of my mood has to do with seasonal affective disorder.. I need spring and I need it soon!

Anyways! Hmm.. something more upbeat? Mondays are just too long for upbeat, haha. Can't wait for tomorrow evening. I love Biggest Loser night! Speaking of Biggest Loser... red team? ugh. They're annoying. I'm not even sure how they got on the show in the first place. I understand that Biggest Loser is consistently getting heavier and heavier contestants and it's only fair to throw in some people who need the help but aren't, say, 500+ lbs... I get that. But there were probably better choices out of their millions of applicants.. you think? Is anyone else reminded of the Helen's daughter (team pink two seasons ago) when looking at this newest pink daughter? Crazy. I love Koli and Sam. They seem like hard workers and they're not playing the game. Gotta respect that. Anyways..

Hope everyone is having a good start to the week. I wish I was home relaxing with my gf instead of at work! lol.

My cool girlfriend has two different colored eyes. How awesome is that? :D

VLOG! (or pathetic attempt at one)

So.. I've never done a vlog before. and I must say.. it's really weird to talk into your phone. So. Hopefully there are more of these to come and hopefully they get better. but for now.. I just hope this works, lol. Happy Wednesday!

new pic :D

Mary and I on New Years, so not technically newww new. but new to you! :D

My band reminded me again that it exists! I had some troubles with carrots today. Here's something kinda cool, kinda gross.. So. I always imagine food in my asaphagus. I ate carrots today and got kind of stuck on them so I imagine chewed up carrots stuck there and anything I eat just lands on top of it until finally I have to puke to remove the 'stuck' part. I did that today. I always puke up everything in order from the last thing I ate. Ew. Anyways, got to the carrots. You know that 'pop' sound removing a cork from a chamagne bottle sounds like? That's exactly what happened. It was soooo weird. But instant relief. I need to be more careful with my carrots.

ANYWAYS!

Biggest Loser tonight. I love Jillian <3 .. even though she pretends to have a degree in counseling every episode.

Drink water!

P.S. If anyone wants to add me on Facebook, I'm completely open to that. Just keep in my mind that no one except my family knows I'm banded. Anyways - facebook.com/colormeamanda -- Or my name, Amanda White-Jensen. Let me know who you are when you add me! :D

survey

I'm feeling a little under the weather today.. which makes me not want to be productive in any other aspect of my life. It was hard to get up this morning and get my butt to the gym.. but I did it! And I'm glad I did.

I took this from Dash's blog, who took it from Tina. Woot.

1. What time did you get up this morning?
I woke up at 6:45 am to go to the gym (thankfully I don't have to be into work until 10 am on Mondays).

2. How do you like your steak?
I don't eat steak. Not because I don't like it.. I just don't get the opportunity. I'd probably ask for medium for lack of knowing any better.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema?
I saw Blind Side and New Moon on the same day, in that order.

4. What is your favorite TV show?
I love Biggest Loser, Law and Order SVU and Criminal Minds. (I also love Grey's Anatomy but haven't seen it in several seasons and I loved Friends when it was on)

5. If you could live anywhere in the world where would it be?
Doesn't matter where.. just with who.

6. What did you have for breakfast?
honey nut cheerios with skim milk.

7. What is your favorite cuisine?
Hmm, I don't know.

8. What foods do you dislike?
Several.


9. Favorite place to eat?
Red Lobster. I wish it was calorie free. :P

10. Favorite dressing?
Ranch. I like italian as well.

11. What kind of vehicle do you drive?
Pontiac Grand Am - red, 2 door.

12. What are your favorite clothes?
I love jeans and hoodies.

13. Where would you visit if you had the chance?
Everywhere!

14. Cup 1/2 empty or 1/2 full?
Depends on the day.

15. Where would you want to retire?
I'll just settle with being ABLE to retire, thanks.

16. Favorite time of day?
any time with my baby. :D

17. Where were you born?
St. Petersburg, FL

18. What is your favorite sport to watch?
Baseball!

19. Bird watcher?
No thanks.

20. Are you a morning person or a night person?
Both. Morning only AFTER I'm already up :P

21. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share?
Lol, not really. My two year anniversary with my girlfriend is coming up! :D <3

22. What did you want to be when you were little?
Teacher, lawyer, doctor. all the cliche's.

23. What is your best childhood memory?
I've been asked this before. I don't know..

24. Are you a cat or dog person?
100 percent dog lover!

25. Are you married?
It's not quite legal.

26. Always wear your seat belt?
Yes.

27. Been in a car accident?
A few minor ones.

28. Any pet peeves?
sure.


29. Favorite Pizza Toppings?
Pepperoni.

30. Favorite Flower?
I'm not so into flowers.

31. Favorite ice cream?
I do not discriminate against my ice cream choices.. no favortism here. I love it all. :P (okay, not really.. but I do like a fair amount of it)

32. Favorite fast food restaurant?
Is Subway fast food?

33. How many times did you fail your driver's test?
None.

34. From whom did you get your last email?
Not sure.

35. Which store would you choose to max out your credit card?
I wouldn't max out *my* credit card anywhere.

36. Do anything spontaneous lately?
No, not really.

37. Broccoli?
I like it.

38. What was your favorite vacation?
I never went on many vacations. I did like going to Alaska by myself when I was 16to visit friends.

39. Last person you went out to dinner with?
Mary.

40. What are you listening to right now?
Radio at work.

41. What is your favorite color?
Green.

42. How many tattoos do you have?
Two. But they're in the same area and look like one.

43. Coffee drinker?
I like cold stuff sometimes.



Well, there you have it. :p

the foreign world of exercise

Hey everyone. So, I've been able to eat anything and everything for about a month now and I think my body has FINALLY realized that I'm going to feed it everyday.. so hopefully it stops hanging on to every single thing I eat. I'm feeling pretty strange. It's nice to be able to actually eat the food I set out to eat.. but it's weird to actually feel HUNGRY. all the time. very hungry. and now that I can eat anythinggg.. I need to keep the hunger in check or I'll go off the deep end and find myself at some fast food restaurant. Not okay.

Now: exercise. I realize I should have been exercising over this whole process. but I just didn't really care all too much about it. Sure I took a couple of walks in the summer, trikked a little bit, did some rollerblading in the fall. but I would hardly count any of those activities since I did none of them consistently. I joined a gym. Paid in full for two years right up front (if that's not motivation to actually USE the membership, I don't know what is). And I have to say, I know it's only been two weeks but I'm pretty proud of myself! I usually only go for about an hour at a time but am looking to increase that in the future. I'm really pleased with the gym. It's a little out of the way but I think anything that's not two houses down from my own is 'out of the way'. It has tonnns of machines and space, a "women's only" room with a nice circuit, classes, sauna, etc. I have a good routine going so far. I go Monday & Wednesday mornings, Tuesday and Friday afternoons. And one day on the weekend (so far it's been Saturdays). 5 days a week! Not bad! I was a member at Anytime Fitness years ago for a year, and I'm pretty sure I've been to this new gym more times in the past week and a half than I went to that gym, period. I really do like it there! I'm still getting a feel for how I should use my time. I usually do the circuit in the women's gym (12 machines) and then I use the rest of the time for cardio either on the treadmill or elliptical.

I'm happy to report that my water consumption has improved by 50%. But since I was at 0% before, I still have plenty of room for improvement. I really liked Amy's game of putting dashes on the bottle that holds the water! Seems like just that little incentive would make it easier to drink. Right now I use a 25 oz bottle ... I'm trying my hardest to get at least 75 oz (did you know that you're supposed to drink half your body weight in ounces of water a day? with 64 oz being the minimum?). I think I've only met my water consumption goal once. But hey, I'm working on it. Amy -- I have NO idea how you drink 120 oz a day.. or whatever it is that you drink. Good for you! but you're crazy. :P (I kid, I kid).

I miss my band. but every once in awhile it reminds me that it still exists (like me PBing on raw carrots this afternoon at lunch).

In non-food/non-band related news... My little sister has decided to get married. She's 18. Don't get me started. She's a very emotionally immature 18 year old at that. OH - and did I mention she was engaged to a different guy 6 months ago? Hmm, yeah. I love my little sister.. I do. But wow. I wish I was half as smart as I thought I was at 18. She's been dating this guy since October (known him since June).. They met at her schooling in Pensacola for the Marines. That schooling is over and as of the new year, she is in California and he is in Hawaii. I hope it works out for them, I truly do. And, hey, weirder things have happened. I just don't think it's the wisest of decisions right now. Not my life though. He seems like a genuinely nice guy (I probably won't meet him until the day before the wedding).. it's just all so fast. It doesn't help that my mom lives vicariously through my sister so she's more excited than words can say.. so my sis doesn't have anyone to really say.. "whoa. wait a sec. let's think this through'. *sigh* Maybe I'm just bitter about the dress I have to buy :P

I better get back to work :p

nom nom nom nom

Thanks for all your replies to my last post! So I flew home last week and had a doctors appointment on Tuesday. She basically drained my band (she took 5 cc's out) and then sent me to radiology where I had to do a barrium swallow (yuck!)...

So I went back to her office after radiology and as she was attempting to bring the images up she told me that the band doesn't lay flat across the upper part of the stomach but rather a little tilted. When she pulled up my images, my band was flat... and she said that if she just looked at that image, she would think my band had slipped. She went back and looked at the very first images right when I got the band and realized that my band just naturally lies a little flat and it was probabl normal for me. So.. no slip. We decided to put back in 2 cc's ... I told her I would rather be forced to control myself than not be able to eat at all, so we were pretty conservative.

Well folks, I can eat anything I want now. It's crazy. I have no troubles.. at ALL. Coming from someone who has had nothing but troubles, this is quite crazy for me. So I need to control myself. Seriously. I can't get another fill till like spring.. so here's where I have to prove myself. Luckily, I'm trying to only focus on maintaining my weight and maybbbee losing 10-ish more pounds. I didn't go too crazy with the food over the holidays... but my body is definitely not used to this many calories and I've gained about 3 pounds. BUT that's what I expected.. and I actually expect to gain a couple more before I start leveling off or even losing.

I hope everyone had a great holiday... :)

[insert interesting title here]

Hello all my fellow bloggers. I creep all of your blogs all the time and you probably don't even know it! I silently nod my head along to alllll the things I can relate to, make sad faces when things aren't going how they should for you, and smile for all those pounds lost and NSV's.. but I rarely let you know it via comment. and for that, I'm sorry. I'd like to say I'm going to try to do better (just as I say I will update this blog more frequently) but I shouldn't say things I may not follow through with. [I find myself annoyed with the bloggers who leave for extended periods of time only to come back with a short blog of apologies and a 'promise' that more updates are to come... only to do it alllll again. So I make no promises or apologies for my long absence.. and who the heck knows when I'll blog again ;)] ... special shout out to Amy W. here.. who never, ever fails to entertain me, make me laugh, or make me think with her blog.

Life is speeding along so fast that I barely have time to register that we're almost in 2010. 2010! That's crazy! I took my last final of the semester this past Monday.. looking forward to a little break. My birthday was this past weekend.. 24! I didn't really do anything but relax at home.. which was perfectly fine with me.

Okay banders, here is life with the band lately: it blows. I've been getting some acid reflux over the past two or so months.. I usually just take some antacids and it goes away. A couple weeks ago, I started having some major troubles with keeping food down (I already puke at almost every meal as it is, so when I say major troubles..I mean majooorrr). I'd wake up in the middle of night (hours and hours after I'd last eaten) and puke! But the puke this time was different. I have to explain to nonband people that when we puke, it's never acidic puke like when you're sick to your stomach. It's simply the food you just ate coming up.. it's never reached my stomach, blah blah. We, as bandsters, all know this. Well, I've been puking up acid in the middle of the night. This happened two nights in a row so I called my doctor. I'm scheduled for an appointment on the 23rd... I fly into Minnesota on the 22. She's going to completely unfill me.. and then do an upper GI (if anyone has had an upper GI.. please tell me exactly what this entails!).. and depending on those results, fill me again accordingly. I'm worried that my band has slipped... but mostly, I just want to EAT again! I'm not talking pig out, tons of fast food eat... I would like to enjoy a salad. some grilled chicken. ANYTHING! So I haven't had much solid food in the past couple of weeks.. but I've taken the opportunity to eat plenty of ice cream. A girls gotta get her fat in somehow, right?! ;)

Water is another issue. I'm not good at constantly sipping water all day long. I like to drink a big glass of water every couple of hours. I cannot do that.. and so I haven't been drinking any. Plus, this might sound weird.. but I get acid reflux when I drink water. *sigh* I'm trying. *sips*

I've been holding steady at 153 lbs. I have already mentally prepared myself for what introducing food and an adequate amount of calories will do to the scale. It will indeed go up before it starts coming down again.. because I'm telling you right now, my body is STARVING! haha. I'm not even going to pretend that I can do this without the band.. but I need a chance to TRY. These last 20 or so pounds have been lost not because I'm choosing the right things to eat and being all healthy.. they've been lost because the band will not let me eat a godd@amn thing! I need a chance to prove to myself that if I can eat carrots, I will. If I can drink water better, I will. If I have the choice to eat, I will choose to eat something healthy. It's just not happening now.

I guess I'll leave it at that for now. Wish me luck with my appointment! I hope everyone is good, healthy and gearing up for this holidays!

Survey!

Thanks to all those who kept me entertained with this survey!! :D


A
- Age: 23
- Annoyance: In the grand scheme of things, ignorance or people who hold too tightly and firmly to their own beliefs. Also, intolerant people who believe that their faith is the only one that contains truth. But that's wayyy too deep for this survey.. so.. hmm. Healthy food getting stuck!!
- Animal: Morgan <3 dog.
- Actor: I prefer actress' to actors, for some reason? Maybe I relate to them more. I'm not sure. Love Sandra Bullock, Kate Winslet, Maggie Gyllenhaal.. among others.

B
- Beer: I don't drink.
- Birthday/Birthplace: Dec 13, 1985 / St. Petersburg, FL
- Body Part on opposite sex: who cares ;) haha. I do enjoy jaw lines.
- Been in Love: Yes, currently.
- Been bitched at: Of course, lol.
- Believe in yourself?: Today!
- Believe in God: I'm not sure what I believe. But I'm open.
- Before weight: 263

C
- Car: Poniac Grand Am, two door, red.
- Candy: Yes, please :D though I probably prefer chocolate.
- Color: green.
- Cried in school: yep.
- Chocolate/Vanilla: chocolate as a general rule.
- Chinese/Mexican: chinese.
- Cake or pie: cheesecake! but really only the easy jello stuff. yum!
- Country to visit: Anywhere.

D
- Day or Night: Both.
- Danced: I took ballet since I could walk until I was 12.
- Do the splits?: I could. I'd probably need a little practice now, lol.

E
- Eggs: I don't eat eggs anymore. but I like them scrambles, over easy, or hardboiled.. as long as they're done to my liking :)
- Eyes: hazel.

F
- First crush: kindergarten.
- First thoughts waking up: noooooooooo!!!!
- Food: is trouble.

G
- Greatest Fear: I generally fear failure, rejection, and maggots. :D
- Goals: Be happy.
- Get along with your parents?: Now that there are three states between us? Sure.
- Good luck charm: Not sure...

H
- Hair Color: Brown / Auburn
- Height: 5'4.5 (the .5 is important people!)
- Happy: Generally.
- Holiday: Christmas. :)
- Health freak?: I wish.
- Hate: hating is a waste of time and energy.


I
- Ice Cream: yes please!! any kind.
- Instrument: voice.

J
- Jewelry: I love the necklace I got for my anniversary.. it's the only thing I wear.
- Job: Emergency Services at the Red Cross. and full-time grad student.

K
- Kids: No.
- Kickboxing or karate: kickboxing.
- Keep a journal? not unless you count this.

L
- Longest Car Ride: hmm.. probably Minnesota to Florida.
- Love: I do.
- Laughed so hard you cried: my favorite.
- Love at first sight: Not unless you knew the person well before you first set eyes on them.

M
- Milk flavour: ...uh. milk flavored?
- Movie: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind
- Mooned anyone?: Nope.
- Marriage: is illegal for me.
- Motion sickness? Nope.
- McD’s or BK: Eh. Subway?

N
- Number of Siblings: 2 younger ... one bother, one sister.
- Number of Piercings: I have two in each ear but haven't worn earing in over 10 years, lol.
- Number: 5 and 13

O
- One wish: overall well-being (finacially, personally, etc)

P
- Place you’d like to live: It's not about where I live... it's who I live with.
- Perfect Pizza: pepperoni.
- Pepsi/Coke: Pepsi over coke. But cherry coke above all.

Q
- Questionaires: when I should be working? Yes, please.

R
- Reason to cry: No reason.
- Reality T.V.: Biggest Loser.
- Roll your tongue in a circle? I think?

S
- Song: Your Winter - Sister Hazel
- Shoe size: I have small feet but they're really wide... so while I should be wearing like a 6, I usually have to wear a 7 to make sure they're wide enough.
- Salad Dressing: ranch. italian if the salad consists of only cucumbers.
- Skipped school: ahaha. who me? never.
- Smoking: No thanks.
- Sing well?: nah
- Strawberries/Blueberries: I have a lot of trouble with fruit.

T
- Time for bed: whenever.
- Thunderstorms: love!
- TV: biggest loser and law and order SVU.

U
- Unpredictable: kind of.

V
- Vegetable you hate: I love vegetables.. but they ALWAYS get stuck!
- Vegetable you love: asparagus is my favorite.
- Vacation spot: i've never really gone on vacation.

W
- Weakness: no weakness. :p
- When you grow up: happy.
- Which one of your friends acts the most like you: I think all of them are like me in different ways.
- Wanted to be a model?: uh, no.

X
-X-Rays: course.

Y
-Year it is now: 2009
-Yellow: my old bedroom was light yellow. When I was 14, I wanted to paint in black. My mom said no way!

Z
- Zoo: I like to Boo Zoo at Halloween.. it's fun to volunteer and see the kids.
- Zodiac sign: Sag

mini get to know me!

1.) My name is Amanda :)
2.) I was born Dec 13, 1985.. which just so happened to be a Friday the 13th :D
3.) Born in St. Petersburg, FL.. but moved to Minnesota when I was 3 and lived there until I moved at 22.
4.) I currently live in Michigan.
5.) I have been happily in love for almost 2 years <3
6.) My biological father died when I was young and my step-dad will always be "Dad" to me.
7.) I was super active in curling (the ice sport.. yes, with the 'brooms' and 'sweepers') since I was 12 or so. My team has represented the USA in Jr Worlds.. and we've been finalists in the Olympic Trials.
8.) I am going to graduate school for my masters in clinical mental health.
9.) I work full time at the American Red Cross... (please certify yourself in CPR! thanks.)
10.) I love dogs more than most people. (I have one, her name is Morgan :D)

I would post more but it's almost quittin' time!

These are the things I love:
going on road trips. getting lost and finding something more exciting than what you were looking for. stopping to realize you have nothing you need to be doing at that moment. revisiting places you haven't been in a long time. good conversation. campfires. snow lightly falling in the dead of the night. putting in the last piece of a puzzle. kissing someone you really like. white clouds in a blue sky that look 3D. random acts of kindness. giving kids at a lemonade stand a five dollar bill and telling them to keep the change. laying in bed and fighting the urge to sleep. rollercoasters. smiles from strangers. windows open on a hot night letting cool breeze in. being cuddled up and comfortable. standing in the wind. really loud thunderstorms. warm socks on cold feet. teaching someone something they never knew before. learning something you never knew before. reading a really good book. laughing so hard your stomach hurts. watching a really good movie. giving someone a present you know they really want. anything that has to do with water. looking at the clock and realizing it's almost 11:11.


<3